It’s time for another “What Happened Tonight” multiple choice quiz! Listen to the following dialogue and pick what happened next!

Friend: Hello.
Man: Hi, there. Have we met?
Friend: Yes, you felt me up last time.

What happened next?

A. Man: Oh, I’m so very sorry. I really hope I didn’t offend you.

B. Man: What? Are you sure?

If you picked B, you’re correct! Let’s play on.

Man: What? Are you sure?
Friend: Yes, you were wearing a green t-shirt.

What happened next?

A. Man: God, I was so drunk. I know that that’s no excuse, but please accept my apologies.

B. Man: Well, I mean… Like, neither of you is a feminist, right?

B again it is, my fellow readers! Let’s watch what happened next.

Man: Well, I mean… Neither of you is a feminist, right?
Friend: No, I’m not, but you did feel me up.
Maryanna Fuckin’ Price: I am.
Man: *uncomfortable stare* Well… I mean, I do own a green shirt… Can you prove it?

And then?

A. Everyone laughs it off and the Man offers to buy us a pint.
B. Maryanna makes threatening small talk.
C. He feels Friend up again.

The answer is ALWAYS B, folks.

Maryanna: Yeah, I was there that night. Y’know, it’s the darndest thing. My friend here was really begging me not to hurt you. Ha! Funny thing, that. Fun-ny thing. I don’t think *we’ve* met. My name’s Maryanna. *extends hand to shake*
Man: My name is [Man]. *offers a limp fish to shake; looks surprised and hurt when give a proper handshake* You know, my GIRLFRIEND just moved in from [country]. So, you know, it’s sort of weird to have my GIRLFRIEND living here.
Maryanna: Right, yeah. What do you study, [Man.]
Man: [Nondescript, one-word answer] I’m gonna be heading off, then.

That’s all, folks! This concludes tonight’s quiz. Join us next post for more inexcusable privilege!


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