Feminism as it relates to conjugal bliss

A woman I know recently got married and posted this as her Facebook status:

“‘The secret to a happy marriage remains secret.’ -I don’t think so. There’s Love, food, food, oh and did I mention food? It’s true. A wife who loves to cook or learns to love cooking becomes like a sorceress who dispenses happiness. Advice also applicable to fiances and girl-friends everywhere. -Go forth women and cook for your men!”

While perhaps not the most contemporarily-worded sentiment, I don’t disagree with the basic notion of this comment: cooking is a nice way to show someone you care about them. I cook for my boyfriend and he does the same for me. My parents cook for each other and for me.

What irks me is that this girl used to be a very dedicated feminist and activist. No, that’s not what irks me; she probably still is all these things. The problem lies in a comment left by one of her friends:

“haha i remember the days when [so and so] would constantly say feminist jokes and you would get mad at him. congrats on getting married […]!”

I’m happy for her getting married, but does feminist really have to be a youthful “phase” to be passed out of? Does marriage provide the extra push for an angry woman to ‘level up’ into a well-adjusted wifey who understands how things really work? I don’t think so.

I wish her all the best in her marriage, including delicious food, but I sincerely hope she doesn’t leave who she was while embarking upon this new chapter of who she is.


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